It’s Been A Year.

So, i haven’t written on here for almost 2 years. In that time, i’ve experienced a business boom, my mom passed, and now we’re hip-deep in this Coronavirus Pandemic (“cause it’s from CHY-naaaa”).

A year ago today, my mom passed from a cancer of the blood. Basically, a few years ago, her body started OVER-producing red blood cells. So, she started chemotherapy which was to slow it down to a normal, manageable level.

Well, it ended up stopping it altogether. And, we couldn’t jump start it back up. A week later, she was gone.

They say that you have to go through the seven steps of mourning. I’m still in the pissed-off phase… not as much… but definitely still there. I’m hoping that getting the actual reasons out will help me in understanding and moving past.

So here it goes…

I’m pissed that i only got to know this incredible woman for only 47 years
I’m pissed that i didnt get to hear all of her stories
I’m pissed that my daughter didn’t get to hear them too
I’m pissed that i didn’t get to hear her voice one last time
I’m pissed that i didn’t see her become a great grandmother
I’m pissed that i didn’t get to see her reaction when Trump won (again).
I’m pissed that I didn’t get to see her smile when she saw me in a magazine/paper/advertisement
I’m pissed that she didn’t get to see a vodka named after her
I’m pissed that she won’t get to see emma holding her diploma
I’m pissed that she won’t get to see emma with a college degree
I’m pissed that she won’t get to have emma drive her to a grocery store (like i did with mine)
I’m pissed that we won’t have that last trip to new york city, and see the Macy’s windows at Christmas
I’m pissed that every day i’ll hear her amazing laugh only in my head
I’m pissed that Christmas will never be the same without her.

… and these are the few i came up with over 90 seconds.